Day 2 - Support is key.

The day of the 'hangover' - Oliver woke up at the crack of dawn - typically just when I was finally dozing off. He did as he always does - straight up like a bouncy ball - apparently the bed was his new trampoline. He had a smile on his face - I just let him role with it as it was nice to see.  
Then he asked me a question I was dreading - Where do we have breakfast? - I am hungry........Of course I couldn't find a nurse - I hadn't been shown yet what to do in order for him to eat- something we had completely taken for granted before now. Food for every child had been ordered and placed on the end of the beds- even Oliver's- the form had been filled out to say please give the food to the nurse station first, this hadn't happened so of course Oliver just went straight for it- its the first and only time I had ever taken food away from him. 

I found  myself frantically walking up and down the corridors like a lost sheep trying to find out how to give my child breakfast!?! A nurse and I had to test his blood sugar. Of course Oliver still hadn't come round to this new routine, he had another tantrum - all I could do was reassure him that we just needed to do this then you can eat.  I cant remember what he was as I was just waiting for that look from the nurse to say hes ok- thankfully he was. 

So now for step 2-  whats in the food?- we had no food labels -I had no idea the carbohydrate value in foods- we both looked at each other with blank faces - an awkward stare where I was thinking- why are you looking at me I am no dietitian?! The nurse was frantically flicking through the pages and pages of information we had been given. We somehow finally came to a total figure of carbohydrate - lets hope it was right! 

Step 3 - To work out his dose off a ready made chart. 'Right ok so he needs 1 unit of insulin'. Off she disappeared - for 20 odd minutes to fetch his insulin - seriously it must be like fort knox to get into the medicine room! Or at least it felt like it when I was constantly being asked can I have my breakfast mummy- mummy can I have my breakfast?! 

Finally after his injection Oliver was able to start his breakfast, which had now gone hard and cold - I went and asked for more - knowing that he wouldn't eat it and we had given him the insulin for it which would cause his blood sugars to fall. I made myself a helping too - there wasn't a form for parents to fill in and I hadn't eaten dinner the night before so why not help myself! At that point I text Stuart with a list of food to keep me going! 

I thought to myself it cant be this difficult every time he eats food?! I wasn't able to do any of his care at this point so had no choice but to wait for the nurses - who I knew and I appreciated that they had lots of other really poorly children to look after, and I knew I needed to keep my calm and sit through it. But I kept feeling completely lost and all of a sudden I couldn't even look after my own son. A  sense of demotion - a failure. 

The rest of the day had all been planned out for us (again a common theme of this being completely out of our control)- we had meetings set up with consultants, a dietitian, specialist diabetes nurses and the psychologist. My brain was fried already and I had to try and wake it back up to absorb the information being thrown at me. Some of it was like being back in school - if anything it confirmed I had learnt something from school that I would use in my future- if only a little!

Firstly everyone should know I have a phobia of needles. It seems to run in our family - my brother passes out at the sight of one! Im not as bad, but I hate them- its not the pain as its not painful - I just DON'T LIKE NEEDLES!. We started by injecting insulin into a toy panda for practice- somehow I could do this - it didn't seem so real but the fear was injecting my own son. My palms would go all sweaty and id start shaking uncontrollably. But it had to be done and they had to sit and watch me do it before we could be discharged - I definitely didn't want to stay a second longer than I had to, so i had to up my game! Be strong - do it for Oliver- show him I wasn't scared. I wimped out for the first needle - this is when Stuart stepped in- the man- the rock that holds us all together. He did it without a flinch and he was amazing. Im not saying he found it good to do but the relief of being able to do it that first time cleared some of his fears. The nurse was happy for me to do the dinner time bloods. I was dreading it but the team spent time with me to support us to get us home ready for Santa.

I am so thankful that we had all this support - especially as the Christmas holidays were upon us and I am sure most of them wanted to be at home with their families. It set a president that if we ever needed anything we just had to ask and that has stayed true throughout. This was the first signs of a good diabetic team.However now I am told that you can request to be seen by another diabetic team if you are having problems with the current team.So this is always good to know.

My next aim now i've had the training. Is to do the injection and get home! After all presents still had to be wrapped! 

Living with Type 1 is one massive learning curve- no day is the same and you encounter something new everyday without realising it. We still have loads more to learn. I always look back at the beginning few days and find a positive in how far we have come and at the moment Oliver inst scared of his diabetes. He will openly tell people he is diabetic and is insulin dependant.